Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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