We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
