How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
