He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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