cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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