i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
