hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
