so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
