Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
