Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Acid is not a monday night drug
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
