I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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