When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
