Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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