3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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