it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
