2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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