I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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