Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
