Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
