this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
