i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
