Your dad touched me again.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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