yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
