I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
