maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
