All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
