U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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