garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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