i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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