You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
