he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
