after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
