Kiss
Puke
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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