he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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