just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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