Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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