i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
