i would punch a child for taco bell
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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