im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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