I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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