I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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