ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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