wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there was a trapeze. enough said
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
