Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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