I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
