Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
