Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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