Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
