You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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