I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize