we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
