So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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