5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
