he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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