i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
