My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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