Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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