I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm always down for nudity.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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