so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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