Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We are two peas in an std pod
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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