Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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