it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
